Meeting an Angel

Caiden met his great-grandmother, Helen, about a week ago. Brian and I took him to visit her just in time. She passed away yesterday from pancreatic cancer and a failing heart. I feel very fortunate that she was able to meet him and love him before she moved on to bigger and better places. She was a wonderful woman who is very loved and will be missed.

The first days home

I still can't believe we have a baby. Sometimes I just stare at him like a creepy mommy and admire how perfect he is. He loves kisses and tries to eat my face when I give them to him. He is a little snuggle bug and likes to cuddle up against my chest. Caiden is a champ at eating, pooping, and peeing. He's peed on Dad three times already mid diaper change. Luckily breast feeding has been going really well because it seems like Caiden has been living attached to my nipple. He loves to touch his face so we have to put little mitts on hm so he doesn't scratch himself. If we swaddle him we have to make sure his arms stay outside of the swaddle or he gets grumpy. I made the mistake of swaddling his arms one night and was woken up by a series of grunts. Just as I looked over the side of his bassinet I heard one giant grunt and his fist shot straight out from the blanket. He was happy after that. Caiden rarely cries unless he wants something. He's always so happy and such a joy to be around. He contorts his face into all kinds of expressions and I could be entertained for hours by them.

Brian and I are pretty exhausted but we wouldn't trade this little guy for all the sleep in the world. He is such a wonderful little boy. I've never loved anything so deeply.

Caiden Michael Sedler has arrived!

Here's his natural (med-free, epi-free) birth story:

I had my regular OB appt. on June 8th, Caiden's due date, and didn't figure on anything happening that day. I had had a few contractions but thought they were going to be false labor just like everything else. I was wrong. Contractions began at 2:15pm and continued to become closer together and more intense. In general they ranged anywhere from 5 minutes to 4 minutes apart. We decided to go to the hospital at 11pm and were given the okay by the on-call delivering doctor.

By the time we got to the hospital I was already at 4cm dilated and my water had a tiny leak. I labored for 4 hours and went from 4cm to 8cm. The contractions hurt but were bearable especially since I had the world's best husband coaching me and supporting me through it all. Brian was amazing. He reminded me to breath and would breath with me, he rubbed my back, helped me with hot packs, gave me ice chips, and was at my side doing whatever it took to make me as comfortable as possible. I couldn't have done it without him especially when the next part of labor came.

At 3:30am the doc. came in to check on my progress and realized that my bag still hadn't broken, so she did it manually. The following sets of contractions came on so strong and so close together that I could barely shift to attempt and get comfortable before I'd have to start working through the next contraction. I was vomiting when they peaked, so that didn't help to relax me at all. I started to lose it, but Brian talked me through everything. It also helped to visualize all the people who told me I wouldn't be able to do a natural birth and that I would be screaming for an epidural. Neener neener, I DID IT! The only thing I ended up using was an oxygen mask for the last part of labor just to make sure that baby was getting the oxygen he needed. In about an hour I went from 8-10cm. When it came time to push, I was so relieved.

Pushing feels like you are taking the world's largest crap, no joke. The doctor and nurse were even telling me to push towards the cloth they had stuck right at my butt hole. I pushed with all my might and while it felt good to push, a new sensation came over me. I could feel the skin around my vagina tearing. The doctor was reaching in and trying to stretch me out and it felt horrible. It was as though everything was on fire. The doc. set up a mirror so I could see my progress and be motivated by it. It was amazing to see Caiden's dark head of hair crowning. It helped to fill me with the strength I needed to finish the job. I pushed for only about 20 minutes and then there he was, plopped up on my belly announcing his entrance into the world with his small cries and alert eyes.

He scored a 9 on the Apgar Scale (his first A!) and the nurse and doctor were raving about how great he looked. He weighs a healthy 7lbs 13oz, slightly above normal. He is 20 inches of perfection. He's got his dad's chin and my nose and we can't wait for him to rest up so we can get a real sense of his personality. Dad also got to witness Caiden pooping like a champ.

We are so in love with this little guy. I just sit and stare at him and every little breath he takes is amazing to me. Each yawn fills my heart with happiness and every tiny snore makes me smile. We've had the chance to witness a true miracle. I can't even begin to thank God enough for bestowing this blessing on us.

Inductions and exits

Just got back from the doc. We are now about 90% effaced, 3cm dilated, and still -2 station. My membranes were stripped again. I'm hoping this does something because if he doesn't come on his own this week he will be induced on Tuesday (the 15th). I'm not really thrilled about an induction. I really want to be able to have a natural childbirth but inductions increase your chances of having a c-section. Since I don't want pitocin, they would probably have to break my bag in which case they want to see a baby within 24hrs or they do a c-section to avoid risk of infection. I'm praying none of this isn't even an issue and he just comes on his own.

While we're planning the arrival of baby, I'm preparing for the death of my grandmother. She was admitted to the hospital today for a bad case of jaundice. She was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now her pancreas is effecting her liver. Her body is slowly being poisoned and she doesn't want to do anything about it. After 91 happy years, she's ready to meet her maker. I just wish she would have had a chance to meet her great-grandson in person before then.

Today is the big day!

Well...second biggest day. Today is our due date and I'm sitting on the couch without a baby in my arms. Yeah, it's more common than not when 40 weeks rolls around, especially for a 1st time mom, but I'd still like to be holding him. Maybe I should go buy a doll.

I've felt like crap all of yesterday and what has begun of today. I had bad cramping all of yesterday peppered with back pain. The back pain started to get worse. We went to bed and I woke up several times with contractions, but nothing panned out. My back is still killing me today and I feel like I could vomit up all the Outback we had last night. Oooh, that leads to a story!

I post on thebump.com which is a forum/website for moms and expectant moms. Brian knows this. Yesterday I texted him to see what he had for lunch so I knew what to avoid making for dinner. He said he thought he would take me to Outback for dinner because he read on thebump that someone went into labor the night she had Outback. Okay, so maybe he was grasping for straws but I thought it was cute. I asked him if he had been on thebump lately and he responded "I was perusing the birth stories. It gives me confidence that our time is near." It was the LOL that I needed. It's nice to have a husband that is interested in the pregnancy and involved in doing research (besides thebump of course). It makes me feel like I have a strong, competent partner to share the experience with.

I have my 40 weeks appt. today. Thanks Doc. White for taking this week off for vacation! (sarcasm). We're going to be seeing the OB we had our 1st appts. with. She's really nice but kind of a spaz. We'll be getting a biophysical profile done to make sure my amniotic fluid levels are normal and that the baby is still thriving. If he's determined to stay in here, they've got to make sure he's safe.

What is it about "I'll call if anything happens?" that people don't understand

Seriously? Friends and family, I love you dearly, but if I get one more phone call asking if there's any news I'm going to shoot myself in the face. When I say "I'll call you if anything happens", I promise I'm not lying. I truly mean it. Also, I don't need lectures about how I need to make sure I take it easy. I'm not restoring the Sistine Chapel. It's just laundry! I don't need to be coddled and told how sorry you are for me that I haven't had the baby. Yes we were told he would be early, but in reality he's not even due for another week. He'll come when he's ready. I don't need sympathy. Please, just let me have peace!

Contractions and anniversaries and membranes...Oh my!

So....Brian and I have walked so much in the past week that I had to go in and get another pedicure. All the walking brought on timeable contractions the other day. They were lasting about 45 seconds and were coming n every 5-7 minutes. However, after almost an hour they ended up going away. We were both hoping it was finally time for the big event, but I kept all my wishful thinking at bay because we had been disappointed so many times earlier in the week.

Our 2nd wedding anniversary was on Monday (yesterday). We kept it low-key this year. No cards, gifts, or anything. Instead we went out to lunch, spent the day lounging on the couch, and ended the evening going out to dinner with our parents. It was a relaxing day which is exactly what we both needed.

I went to the doctor again today. I'm still about 75% effaced but I'm between 2cm and 3cm dilated. It doesn't sound like much progress, but she assured me that my cervix is extremely soft, so I should be able to dilate pretty quickly. We'll see.... She asked if it would be okay to strip my membranes to help to me move from early labor to active labor. I agreed. I've had cramping and some spotting since the appointment. I'm not sure what the typical post-stripping spotting should look like, but I lost a lot of bloody, mucousy discharge. It looked kind of like my mucous plug, but with more blood. I'm hoping it's my bloody show *keeping my fingers crossed* With any luck we'll have a baby in the next couple of days. Again, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.