Smiles and laughs. What more could I ask for?

Yesterday Caiden smiled at me for the first time. Sure he's smiled before. He smiles when he gets excited or when I use my high pitched squeaky voice. But yesterday was different. Yesterday I was making faces at him and he was staring at me, and each time I would make a face he would smile. It melted my heart.

My happy baby

Even when I am completely exhausted, seeing him smile makes it all worth it.

15 things I've learned about my son:

1. His poop squirts usually come in 3's and happen right after I change his diaper
2. He is happiest when he wakes up first thing in the morning
3. No matter what his sleeping hours are like, he always wakes up between 5 and 7 and stays awake for a couple of hours
4. He loves rides in the car and in his stroller
5. He loves being outside
6. When he cries "Nah" he wants my boob
7. He likes to snuggle against my neck
8. He will get hiccups at least twice a day
9. He's happy to see me when he wakes up
10. He loves touching his face
11. He will stick out his tongue at me if I stick mine out at him
12. He tries to eat my face when I give him kisses
13. He spends several minutes stretching and grunting when he wakes up
14. He likes bath time
15. If he's sleeping, there is a 99% chance he will wake up the second I'm about to take a bite of food

Meeting an Angel

Caiden met his great-grandmother, Helen, about a week ago. Brian and I took him to visit her just in time. She passed away yesterday from pancreatic cancer and a failing heart. I feel very fortunate that she was able to meet him and love him before she moved on to bigger and better places. She was a wonderful woman who is very loved and will be missed.

The first days home

I still can't believe we have a baby. Sometimes I just stare at him like a creepy mommy and admire how perfect he is. He loves kisses and tries to eat my face when I give them to him. He is a little snuggle bug and likes to cuddle up against my chest. Caiden is a champ at eating, pooping, and peeing. He's peed on Dad three times already mid diaper change. Luckily breast feeding has been going really well because it seems like Caiden has been living attached to my nipple. He loves to touch his face so we have to put little mitts on hm so he doesn't scratch himself. If we swaddle him we have to make sure his arms stay outside of the swaddle or he gets grumpy. I made the mistake of swaddling his arms one night and was woken up by a series of grunts. Just as I looked over the side of his bassinet I heard one giant grunt and his fist shot straight out from the blanket. He was happy after that. Caiden rarely cries unless he wants something. He's always so happy and such a joy to be around. He contorts his face into all kinds of expressions and I could be entertained for hours by them.

Brian and I are pretty exhausted but we wouldn't trade this little guy for all the sleep in the world. He is such a wonderful little boy. I've never loved anything so deeply.

Caiden Michael Sedler has arrived!

Here's his natural (med-free, epi-free) birth story:

I had my regular OB appt. on June 8th, Caiden's due date, and didn't figure on anything happening that day. I had had a few contractions but thought they were going to be false labor just like everything else. I was wrong. Contractions began at 2:15pm and continued to become closer together and more intense. In general they ranged anywhere from 5 minutes to 4 minutes apart. We decided to go to the hospital at 11pm and were given the okay by the on-call delivering doctor.

By the time we got to the hospital I was already at 4cm dilated and my water had a tiny leak. I labored for 4 hours and went from 4cm to 8cm. The contractions hurt but were bearable especially since I had the world's best husband coaching me and supporting me through it all. Brian was amazing. He reminded me to breath and would breath with me, he rubbed my back, helped me with hot packs, gave me ice chips, and was at my side doing whatever it took to make me as comfortable as possible. I couldn't have done it without him especially when the next part of labor came.

At 3:30am the doc. came in to check on my progress and realized that my bag still hadn't broken, so she did it manually. The following sets of contractions came on so strong and so close together that I could barely shift to attempt and get comfortable before I'd have to start working through the next contraction. I was vomiting when they peaked, so that didn't help to relax me at all. I started to lose it, but Brian talked me through everything. It also helped to visualize all the people who told me I wouldn't be able to do a natural birth and that I would be screaming for an epidural. Neener neener, I DID IT! The only thing I ended up using was an oxygen mask for the last part of labor just to make sure that baby was getting the oxygen he needed. In about an hour I went from 8-10cm. When it came time to push, I was so relieved.

Pushing feels like you are taking the world's largest crap, no joke. The doctor and nurse were even telling me to push towards the cloth they had stuck right at my butt hole. I pushed with all my might and while it felt good to push, a new sensation came over me. I could feel the skin around my vagina tearing. The doctor was reaching in and trying to stretch me out and it felt horrible. It was as though everything was on fire. The doc. set up a mirror so I could see my progress and be motivated by it. It was amazing to see Caiden's dark head of hair crowning. It helped to fill me with the strength I needed to finish the job. I pushed for only about 20 minutes and then there he was, plopped up on my belly announcing his entrance into the world with his small cries and alert eyes.

He scored a 9 on the Apgar Scale (his first A!) and the nurse and doctor were raving about how great he looked. He weighs a healthy 7lbs 13oz, slightly above normal. He is 20 inches of perfection. He's got his dad's chin and my nose and we can't wait for him to rest up so we can get a real sense of his personality. Dad also got to witness Caiden pooping like a champ.

We are so in love with this little guy. I just sit and stare at him and every little breath he takes is amazing to me. Each yawn fills my heart with happiness and every tiny snore makes me smile. We've had the chance to witness a true miracle. I can't even begin to thank God enough for bestowing this blessing on us.

Inductions and exits

Just got back from the doc. We are now about 90% effaced, 3cm dilated, and still -2 station. My membranes were stripped again. I'm hoping this does something because if he doesn't come on his own this week he will be induced on Tuesday (the 15th). I'm not really thrilled about an induction. I really want to be able to have a natural childbirth but inductions increase your chances of having a c-section. Since I don't want pitocin, they would probably have to break my bag in which case they want to see a baby within 24hrs or they do a c-section to avoid risk of infection. I'm praying none of this isn't even an issue and he just comes on his own.

While we're planning the arrival of baby, I'm preparing for the death of my grandmother. She was admitted to the hospital today for a bad case of jaundice. She was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now her pancreas is effecting her liver. Her body is slowly being poisoned and she doesn't want to do anything about it. After 91 happy years, she's ready to meet her maker. I just wish she would have had a chance to meet her great-grandson in person before then.